Nothing

To paraphrase John Cage’s paraphrase of the Zen koan — you’ll continue to do nothing until you realize that the nothing isn’t nothing at all…

"Meaningful acts of refusal have come not directly from fear, anger, and hysteria, but rather from the clarity and attention that makes organizing possible"

Odell, Jenny. How to Do Nothing Resisting the Attention Economy. Pg 82.

Silence is a scary thing for most. It is usually effortlessly avoidable by distraction, especially in 2024 where every building plays some sort of music, restaurants have game tablets at every table, and we all have a phone in our back pocket. When I think of sitting in silence, I think of Buddhism or some sort of hippie meditation retreat. I was scared for his assignment because, again, silence is scary. But I found this assignment extremely eye-opening and relaxing. I sat for eight minutes in silence.

I found myself first open my mind and heart to God and began with warship. Then my mind driftes as it usually does. To things I have to do, the assignments I have to complete, the laundry that needs to be washed, my nail need to be painted, what I should try cooking next. I thought about tasks that required my attentiveness until the timer interrupted them. I was surprised that the time was up so quickly.

Next, 16 minutes. I was afraid of what might come of this silence because this is the longest I have sat intently with nothing to do. I started the same way I usually do, opening prayer and reminding myself to listen to God's words during this time, and that I might be physically alone, but I am never mentally alone. This calmed my fears for the next fifteen munites. My mind roamed to pending tasks, and observations I made throughout the day. I notice the noises around me. The buzz of the air conditioner, the shuffling of feet that accor on the opposite side of the wall, the soft voices that seep through into the reflection room, and the creasing of plastic-ie fabric, as a Muslim woman, on her knees, bows towards Kaaba next to me. After I notice and digest every individual noise I sink deeper in thought, I think about my actions, how God would feel about them, and how I can improve my actions to better reflect who I want to be and how I want to be proved. These thoughts proceeded and repeated until the duration of the timer.

I thoroughly enjoyed this assignment. It opened my mind to clarity and helped my mind reorganize itself. How I pray and worship to God is through meditation and silence (as much silence as I can without my human thoughts interrupting) so it was not surprising that I guided myself through these silent increments with prayer. Actual silent moments were occupied by God and his presence. The silence was not as scary as I thought it might be because I never once felt lonely. The thoughts that erupted, I was able to dissect them and understand them on a level only Sarah could understand. I didn't have to prove anything or describe anything in a language that is understood by the public because I understood it by a feeling and that is all that matters.